


Meet the Parents

by E_Salvatore



Series: Tagged: TBTP Tumblr Fics [14]
Category: The Black Tapes Podcast
Genre: BEHOLD, F/M, Gen, Tumblr Fic, of all time, the most plotless and pointless fic of all time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-19
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-27 16:03:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6290899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E_Salvatore/pseuds/E_Salvatore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Having dinner with your colleague/interviewer/friend(?)’s parents should <i>not</i> be this nerve-wracking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meet the Parents

“Ta-da!” Alex announces grandly as she shrugs off her coat to reveal a fitted sweater, a pair of jeans and a conspicuous lack of bulky recording devices attached to her waistband or stuck into her pockets. “No recorders, as promised.”

Strand laughs at her antics as she slides into the chair opposite him. “I can see that,” He says, watching Alex scan today’s list of specials. “Thank you; I do appreciate you putting that away for a night.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Richard,” Alex smiles, setting aside the menu to look at him instead. “It’s not a big deal to leave my gear at home. If you don’t want me recording, just let me know. We can hang out without it being work-related.”

Logically, he knows that they’re more friends than colleagues at this point – two people who genuinely enjoy each other’s company and choose to spend their time together outside of work. But it’s still the slightest bit baffling (and unfathomable) that someone like Alex would choose to ‘hang out’, as she describes it, with someone like him. “Well, that’s good to know. Would you like to order?”

Alex visibly brightens at the prospect of food; it must’ve been another long day for her at the office. “Yeah, sure.” A waitress passes by shortly after, and Strand notes that she remembers Alex’s name and greets her with familiarity; he’s oddly pleased that Alex would suggest they have dinner at a restaurant she must frequently visit.

He means to comment on it, maybe ask her how long she’s been coming here, but she receives a call as soon as they’ve placed their orders and shoots him an apologetic look as soon as she gets a glimpse at the caller’s name.

“I’m sorry,” Alex holds up her phone. “It’s my mom. Do you mind?”

“Not at all,” Strand assures her, assuming she’ll excuse herself for the duration of the call. Surprisingly, the only movement she makes is to angle her body the slightest bit to the left so that she’s turned away from him.

“Hey, Mom, what’s- really? Why didn’t you call me? No, _now_ doesn’t count. I mean, you’re already here so-” Alex sighs. “No, Mom, of course I’m happy to have you guys here; I just wish you’d told me earlier. Yes, it’s a nice surprise but I’m not home right now, so…” She trails off, presumably interrupted by her mother. It doesn’t count as eavesdropping if she turns back to him with an exasperated half-smile and rolls her eyes, right? _Mothers_ , Alex mouths as she shakes her head.

“No, I can’t- I’m actually in the middle of something. I know, I know but…” Alex sighs again, heavier this time. “Can you hold on for a second, Mom? Right, just a minute.” She holds the phone at a distance and places a hand over it to muffle her conversation with him.

“My parents just drove in from Vancouver as a surprise, and they really want me to spend the evening with them…”

Strand picks up on her unspoken question. “I’d be more than agreeable to them joining us, of course,” He assures Alex.

“Really?” Alex asks, looking pleasantly surprised. “I was thinking more along the lines of, you know, asking you for a rain check.”

“I’d love to have dinner with your parents, Alex,” Strand even throws in a smile for good measure. “Unless you’d rather not?” Maybe it would be weird for her. And she probably doesn’t make a habit of introducing her work friends – or interview subjects – to her parents. He should’ve thought this through-

“I just want to make sure you don’t feel like you have to or anything,” Alex explains. “I’d be happy to introduce you to them, but I feel like I should warn you about my mom.”

Somehow, it comes as no surprise that Alex’s mother comes with a litany of warning labels. “Why don’t you get back to her first?” Strand suggests. “And you can warn me all about her while we wait for them to get here.”

Alex nods. “That’s probably a good idea. You’re sure this is okay?”

He gives her a pointed look, faking impatience on his part. “Alex, would you _please_ invite your parents to join us for dinner?”

“Alright, alright,” Alex laughs, bringing the phone back to her ear. “Mom? Yeah, hey, sorry about that. So the thing is… I’m actually kind of in the middle of dinner already. With Doctor Strand,” Interestingly, this is when she chooses to turn away again, obscuring her eyes from his view. “ _Mom,”_ Alex hisses, lowering her voice. “Don’t- no, _stop_ it. Look, we were wondering if you and Dad would like to join us. Yes, that _is_ nice of him, so can you please behave yourself for one evening?”

Despite her apparent irritation with her mother, he spots a wide smile blooming on her face as soon as the other woman (presumably) agrees to dinner. “Great! Yeah, I’ll text you directions. See you soon!”

Alex turns back to grace him with her smile. “Thanks again, Richard. I know you were looking forward to a quiet dinner and this isn’t exactly-”

Guided purely by impulse, he reaches out and places his hand above the one she has on the table. “Alex, please. You’re very welcome, but it’s no trouble at all. I must admit that I’ve been curious to see what kind of people it took to raise someone like you,” Strand adds, emboldened by the fact that she hasn’t pulled her hand away.

“Hey,” Alex scowls, though the effect is ruined by the merry laughter dancing in her eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Strand chuckles. “It means that I’m hoping your parents will be as interesting as you are. Now, I hear that some warnings might be needed?” He draws his hand back to his side of the table to spare Alex the awkwardness of having to pull her hand away.

“Oh, right,” She says. “But first, we’re going to need a bigger table.”

The matter is easily and quickly remedied when Alex waves her friend from earlier over and explains their situation. They’re shown to a rectangular table set for four, with two chairs each on opposite sides of the table. Alex ends up sitting next to him this time, and he silently reminds himself not to read too much into it when she shifts her chair slightly closer to his and turns so that her entire body is angled toward him.

“Okay, let’s see. Things you need to know about my mom…” Alex takes a brief pause to organize her thoughts. “She’s probably going to think there’s something going on between us no matter what we say, so I apologize in advance for that. Also, she doesn’t really have a good grasp on boundaries – I get that from her, I think – but if anything she says makes you uncomfortable or if she asks you anything you’d rather not answer, just let her know and she’ll drop it. Usually.” Her features scrunch up in concentration for a moment before they give way to a worried little frown. “I’m probably forgetting some stuff. God, please don’t let her make this awkward.” That last sentence doesn’t seem meant for his ears, given the way Alex mutters it under her breath.

Strand can’t help but laugh at how nervous Alex is, even if a part of him feels the exact same way. He hasn’t had to worry about making a good first impression on someone’s parents for… decades, probably.

“I’m sure everything will be just fine,” He says out loud for Alex’s benefit, and again in his mind for his own sake. “Anything I need to know about your father?”

“I don’t… think so,” Alex hums contemplatively. “He’s religious – both of my parents are – but they’re fine with me being agnostic and they definitely won’t go after you for being an atheist. My dad won’t go after you for anything, really. He’s a pretty open-minded guy, very laid-back… unless he’s on the clock.” Her lips curl up into the tiniest of smiles, something fond and loving. “He’s a reporter, and the whole reason why I got into journalism in the first place. Don’t worry, though – he won’t try to interview you or anything,” She hurries to assure him.

“Well,” Strand smiles. “I’m sure we’ll get along just fine. They sound wonderful,” He adds.

“You say that now, but just wait until- oh! That was fast,” Alex comments, eyes fixed on something over his shoulder. When she smiles and waves someone over, he realizes she must have spotted her parents.

It bothers him that his heart starts beating just a tiny bit faster as he gets to his feet and turns to greet Alex’s parents.

Alex moves out of her seat and into her mother’s arms in the blink of an eye, genuine delight dancing in her eyes despite the exasperation she’d displayed over her mother’s behavior on the phone just minutes ago. Hunched over them, almost as if to keep the outside world from intruding upon this reunion, is a tall, dark-haired man – nearly as tall as Strand himself.

“Gabriel Reagan,” Alex’s father steps forward when he locks eyes with Strand, holding out his hand for the customary handshake. “Doctor Strand, I presume?”

“Richard Strand,” He amends. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Gabriel nods, they shake hands, Strand nods, and that’s that. Unfortunately, Alex’s mother isn’t so easily appeased.

“ _The_ Richard Strand,” She throws in a low whistle for good measure, eyes glinting in a way Strand has come to associate with Alex in her more playful moods. “It’s about damn time.”

“Mom,” Alex warns, eyeing her mother warily as the older woman offers Strand her hand.

“Oh, hush; I haven’t even said anything… yet.” To an amused Strand, she says, “I’m Marceline. Thank you for inviting us to join you two. See,” She turns back to Alex. “I _can_ behave myself.”

Alex rolls her eyes at her mother, but the fond little grin tugging at her lips gives her away.

“You’re welcome,” Strand tells Marceline as they take their seats. “The more the merrier, after all.” Out of the corner of his eye, he can spy the odd look Alex throws him. He can’t blame her; he’s never been one to parrot such trite sentiments and actually _mean_ them. But it’s the proper thing to say, and it guides that line of conversation to a natural end.

“Here,” Alex snags two menus from a passing waitress with an apologetic smile and quickly hands them to her parents, presumably trying to keep her mother occupied. “Why don’t you guys order first?”

From his vantage point, Strand is privy to the sight of Alex’s fingers erratically tapping against her thigh, her little nervous tick otherwise obscured by the tablecloth. He turns his head away from their table to hide his smile; at least he’s not the only one unreasonably anxious about this dinner.

At least she calms down somewhat once her mother is fully concentrated on the menu, and her fingers eventually still as her parents flag down a passing waiter to place their order. By the time orders have been repeated and menus have been cleared away, Alex has been lulled into a false sense of security, her demeanor as relaxed as can be. Strand takes his cue from her and decides it’s probably safe to reach for his glass of water now.

Of course, that’s when her father chooses to strike.

“So, Doctor Strand,” Gabriel Reagan leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. “What exactly are your intentions with my daughter?”

The iced water burns as it goes down his throat the wrong way and seems to bubble back up to his throat and nose.

“Oh my god, Richard!” Alex jumps to her feet, hands hovering above his back as she tries to decide between forceful pats and soothing circles.

“See?” Marceline smirks at her husband, seemingly unbothered by the situation. “I told you she calls him Richard!”

Alex shoots her parents a dirty look as she finally starts rubbing circles into Strand’s back with her palm.

“What?” Gabriel huffs at his daughter. “I didn’t do anything!”

Strand’s beginning to remember why he’s always dreaded meeting the parents - not that he’s dating Alex or anything, of course.

(Though it’s beginning to feel an awful lot as if he is, especially with the warning look her father shoots him at the end of the evening when Alex offers him a ride back to his hotel.)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote most of this a month ago and trust me, I had big plans for dinner. BIG PLANS.
> 
> And then I realized it's been a month and my big plans won't be coming to fruition so I wrote another five hundred words or so just to wrap things up and share this with you guys.


End file.
